Wherever you are. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. It's been over 6 years since I shared something in this space with you. You took the time to share with me access to you and I have not always valued the access I was given. For that, I apologize. I have been involved in making music for 20 years now (whether as a hobby or pursuing a professional career). If you plan on having career where you are involved with the public to some degree, you have to be more active and being that I'm a pretty private person, I fell into what I'm used to doing. I have to work on that. I mainly think about just releasing music, sharing business things, and moving on. I know there is more to it than that. I will try harder to be more active and engaged here. Maybe make a schedule. I'll figure it out. Even as I am writing this (12-07-2020), I am dealing with the passing of my mother. An example of plenty that has happened in the last 6 years and the things I usually stay private with but I'll work through it. I very much appreciate those who stay engaged on the site and with my music and the digital spaces I can be found at. I know I really can't ask this but be as patient with me as you can.
Who Am I?
Re-cycling
When I started working on my first album, the intent was to write to show off my production abilities. I always viewed myself as more of a producer with good writing ability than a rapper that knows how to make beats. I never truly thought I would make too many albums. Make enough to get some attention and then leave the rapping to "rappers." But the process of creating-writing, production, mixing, concept building- gave me a feeling of control and creativity. The process was hard but it gave me a perspective I had no appreciation for prior to. Now, the process is beginning, again. I started working on a new album in June. I have to come up with new song titles, concepts, new music, and even new artwork ideas. The work will be arduous. I will be my harshest critic, pushing myself to be the best possible. I will look for better ways to promote. I'll make some mistakes and learn, and I'll nail some ideas. And of course, there's the writing, producing, mixing. I guess I'm becoming more of an artist than I thought. And I'm actually looking forward to the process...again...
Been awhile-the business of the business
Man it's been awhile since I wrote one of these. Not because I hadn't thought about it. I just didn't think what I had to say at the time was appropriate for this or any form of interesting. Who knows, I could just be writing these for myself. In any case, welcome back. Monday, March 17, 2014 was my first true step forward on the business side of this music thing I do. For months, years even, I have been creating music and slowly building up my home studio. I even went to school and earned my Associates for studio engineering. But other than my music business class, I never really thought about how I would run and operate in a business fashion. Especially on an independent level. When I was younger I thought I'd make music, put it out, someone would hear it, love it, and eventually I'd get signed to a great deal and the record company would take care of the rest. I'd just create. How time changes things. Independent is my choice. But in 4 years I have truly learned what comes with that title. All the paperwork, procuring the finances to operate, deciding what to spend it on to help my music go the furthest with that money, how to promote and get the word out, building a website. So on and so on. Even after finishing the album, how would it be sold, how much, and even how do you sell yourself to the public to gain their interests? Never in my life have I thought so much and so hard about strategies and planning. But it all came to fruition on Monday, March 17, 2014. Just before work, I sold my first copy of Double Negative to the general public. Someone I have no ties to, doesn't know me and I don't know them, took a chance on it and bought a copy. It gave me confidence. It gave me validation. And it gave an ends to the means. All the work, planning and strategizing led to that first moment. It was nerve-racking, but fulfilling. And I said FIRST moment. Because even with all the no's that will come following that moment, I know that moment will come again. And it will drive me to have another moment, and another, and another..
Double Negative
The title of this is also the name of the album. I actually started plotting this album my senior year in high school. Things take time but I'm happy with the results, especially starting off not being able to write so quickly. It's 14 tracks: 9 songs, intro, outro, 3 interludes. The concept of Double Negative is simply telling some of what I and others have been through. Goals, dreams, pain, struggle, failure, aspirations. What is and what could have been. Not everyone in the hood is gangsta or thugs or pushing drugs. But that doesn't make our lives any easier or less stressful. I try to shine light on a little bit of all of it. And still have some not-so-serious moments as well
1.Intro
2. Show And Prove
3. Shot In The Dark
4. The Conversation
5. Song Of The Youth
6. Get Down feat. Panic
7. Admission By Subtraction
8. Arrogance
9. Father's Day
10. Royalty
11. Decisions
12. Civil War
13. The Struggle Within...
14. Outro
Am I really ready?
The recording process is over. The business side has taken over. It's already enough to have to learn what must be done when you are independent, now add to that what must be done as a (really small) business owner? And of a music company at that? No one gave me the handbook on how to maneuver through the music business (I had to buy my own books) so I'm learning as I go. But now that the steps don't seem so big, as I close in on the goal of working almost ten years to make this album and all that came with it, good and bad, am I really ready to present this body of work to the world and tell them that this is me, this is what I worked so hard to create? Am I ready for the acceptance and rejection of my works? Can I accomplish something so distant and near impossible? Can I take what momentum I get from this and use it to springboard myself and my company to the next level, whatever that may be? The clock is ticking as the hour draws near...
Risktaking, Diving In (not the Trey Songz/Usher kind)
I'd hate to blame something from my childhood as to why I don't do things in my adulthood, but we're products of our environment and creatures of habit, so judge if you want. I'll make an exception this time.
As a kid, I used to take risks. You know, kid risks. Could a jump certain curbs with my bike, could I jump long distances and not misstep and get hurt, climbing trees, you know, kid stuff. When I moved to Oklahoma City from San Diego, my mom took a risk on her family. All I really knew was San Diego (and Grambling, LA for a short time, that's for a different discussion,) I didn't wanna leave. I loved San Diego. Had my friends there, had basketball, had the beaches. But mom did what she felt necessary. Since being in Oklahoma City though, for whatever reason, the risktaker in me slowly became dormant. I was, and still am, looking for the safe bets, the safe ways to get where I need to go. As I've grown up, life (and Texas Hold Em Poker) taught me that if I ever really want to win, sometimes I have to take more risks and even big risks. Can't succeed if you can't take some shots and chances.
So now here I am, on the verge of completing my album, again, and the usual angel of doubt is creeping back into my mind. I've invested alot of time, energy, and money into this thing called music. This being my first major project, I understand that not everyone will like it, but not everyone will hate it either. I've shunned many opportunities just based off of fear, but am I really willing to let years of work, frustration, tears and joy go to waste? What if people won't buy it? What if people buy all of it? What if I made a mistake in promotion or marketing? What if no one cares? We all want to protect our feelings and ourselves from rejection, but how much am I willing to take? Then, just as my thoughts start to feel like a fight where I'm getting jumped, reality sets in. I work a job that provides, but barely. And I'm not passionate about it, nor do I like it. I don't have any of the things I want or desire to get ahead in life. I love making music, LOVE IT! Not putting it out hasn't worked, so why not take a risk, do something different, get settled, and finish? Put it out? Give myself and, for that matter, people a chance to prove me wrong or right...
There will be no more re-recording, re-editing, or re-mastering. I will close my eyes, say a prayer, take a risk and let it go. Living with myself if I don't is a risk I'm not willing to take...
Can I just finish this album already???
So I have been waiting basically a year to get to the point where I can start attempting to (wait for it...) master my album, Double Negative. A year ago, my old laptop's hard drive died, and once I bought a new hard drive, it never worked the same again and I couldn't update anything or add any programs (including the Sound Forge program I had just bought.) I bought a new laptop over the Black Friday holiday, and I looked forward to getting started learning that process right after I mixed the album. Now, I did get my Associates Degree for Studio Recording so I'm not new to the concept, but mastering is something else. I know when this first album drops, it will be a huge accomplishment now, but down the road and as I get better and learn more, I'll look back on it and say what I could have done better. I say all that to say this...mastering annoys me. Period. It's a good annoyance. But I notice so many things during the process that has me go back and start over...has me feeling like I'll never release it. I read my books from school, look stuff up online, just never seems right. But that's just me chasing perfection and the desire to do the best, be the best, make the best...still annoying though...
Long 1st blog-gettin it out the way
Forgive me if I seem new to this, because I am. Haven't written anything like a journal since elementary school. My first blog on what is my new website. I had a website before this for my company, Double Edge Productions. I tried to erase it and take it down before the domain expired, but failed miserably. Lesson learned. Anyway, on to new beginnings. Double Edge Productions is still alive and well, though still in the infant stages, I just had to concentrate my focus a bit more on me. This site has been up for a little over a week now, and I'm happy to have accomplished what I have so far. I've been making music for almost 15 years, just working on becoming a better musician and artist, but the business side of this stuff is still very new to me. So I'm still learning. I'll hit some bumps and make some mistakes, but this is a risk to me I believe I'm willing to do. I'm thankful to everyone who has visited this one since it has launched and encourage anyone who takes the time to read these to share them with others, or share your thoughts of what I say with me...